海角社区

I am a sensitive individual despite the shell of indifference, selfishness or revolt from which I defend myself. The unconscious plays a very big role in the formation of my personality. This unconscious is agitated by eddies, sometimes as violent as those of a stormy sea, and I may be the first to suffer from it. Often self-conscious, I easily judge myself to be less attractive, less loved than this or that person. and my surroundings. The resulting suffering will enter deep into my soul, nourishing long-lasting resentments, secret or overt jealousy, a tendency to overcompensate, which would then become character traits difficult to reform. I refuse to let myself be fooled by appearances or what I say, and my critical intelligence quickly detects lies. I dissect the arguments, scrutinize the essence of things and would even go down to the bottom of a well to look for the truth. I have difficulty complying with the rules imposed on me. To demand my docility is to demand almost the impossible. Wanting to force me to bend is leading to cruel confrontations and triggering an animosity capable of transforming into a spirit of revenge. In this merciless struggle, I have an unusual will, a resistance over which time has no influence, and above all an innate disposition to wage a war of attrition. There is undoubtedly a vital force within me which ensures the most spectacular rebirths if the will to live prevails. But on the other hand I am also the seat of undeniable self-destructive tendencies, which can emerge if the being sees no other way out of an emotional situation that is too painful. I must therefore think about strengthening my morale, and I realize that my imagination risks overly darkening the prognosis to the point of creating a real psychosis. Ultimately, the struggle is perhaps less between the being and the external morbid elements than between his painful fantasies and his will to live. Lucid, determined, I know how to show composure in difficult times. But if I am capable of taking risks to get out of the most desperate situations, I should not always take chances, as I am generally inclined to do